Brian On _______

"I would sooner be honestly damned than hypocritically immortalized."
- Davy Crockett

Rush Limbaugh can continue to debate with 75 percent of the rest of the world, but there is absolutely zero doubt that local warming is a reality. Specifically, my house (of which I have precisely $682.31 in equity) is hotter than:

A) a June bride in a feather bed.
B) a two dollar pistol.
C) the hubs of Hades.
D) Jessica Biel.
E) all of the above.

The answer, of course, is E.

My air conditioner is down and that means I'm out. I actually considering sleeping in a sleeping bag at my office until the A/C guy can make it to the house tomorrow afternoon.

Despite the fact that you get to ride around in monster trucks, Dulles is a craptastic airport. Use Reagan if at all possible.

If you're a fresh faced young polisci graduate looking for a job, don't come here. There are already 8 gazillion of you running around franticly.

This is a heavily secured city. I counted six armed law enforcement agencies (not counting military personell). Capitol Police, Uniformed Secret Service Police (yes, that's their name, and don't get me started on the irony of "uniformed secret service") FBI Police (yes, police), Metropolitan Police, Transit Authority Police and Homeland Security Police.

There's nowhere to eat in this city. There are literally McDonald's on every street corner in Paris, London, heck even Budapest and Moscow. Why not in DC?

The locals complain about 20 percent humidity and how "unbearable" it is. They're complaining while for once in my life I'm not sweating.

Fun Fact: The National Christmas Tree stands between the White House and the Jefferson Memorial all year round.

You hear a lot about Arlington National Cemetary being awe-inspiring but you truly have to see it to believe it. 300,000 of America's finest are buried here. The small, white markers are a little spooky. It's almost like the ghosts of thousands of soldiers standing in scores of perfectly alligned ranks.

The Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Solider is equally moving. These guards are hardcore. Every half hour, a new soldier comes to relieve the previous guard. A presiding officer explains (shouts in a very dignified way) the process the gathered crowd is about to see, and demands that they stand if at all possible (I saw several people who preferred to sit until a guard "politely compelled" them to stand). Every movement and every step is symbolic. It's truly a sight that must be seen to be understood.

I wasn't blown away by the Vietnam Memorial. Does that make me a cold blooded communist?

The Iwo Jime Memorial, however, was amazing. Fun Fact: Viewed from the side, the flag is of course at an angle. As you walk around the memorial, however, the the flag pole seems to raise itself upright as if the bronze Marines were planting the flag even as you watch them.

If you want to take a tour, Les Concierges will get you hooked up.

They will be missed. [Sniff.]