Now Whisk the Cyanide into the Eggs until They're Light and FluffySunday, August 17, 2008 According to recently declassified documents, Julia Child - Yes, THAT Julia Child - was a U.S. spy. How awesome is that?Of course this opens the door for the entire Food Network to be spies... watch Paula Dean be the one to capture Osama Bin Laden. Dream Big
Work hard, keep your nose clean, and maybe, just maybe with a little bit of luck you, too, can achieve your dream!
Thank you, Michael PhelpsMonday, August 11, 2008 This makes me ashamed to be a man. It's not so much that John Edwards had an affair (I've never been exactly emotionally invested in his political career), but it's the attitude that nobody seems to care. "Everybody does it." If everybody thinks this way, then I'm also ashamed to be an American. If I had an affair, much less had my affair exposed on national television, I'd hide under a rock and die. I'd better watch some Olympic swimming to restore my faith in humanity, my gender and my country. Thank you, Michael Phelps. God bless you and your refusal to visit an orthodontist. (Why I was reading the Huffington Post is irrelevant.) Press ReleaseFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Brian has announced an open invitation to Zhang Yimou and Zhang Jigang, the producers of the 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremonies, to plan the celebration marking the 27th anniversary of his birth on June 15, 2009. "I had it narrowed down to Zhang/Zhang and one other, but after seeing what they did in Beijing, there really wasn't any question," he said. Brian was particularly drawn to the unique ways the Chinese duo incorporated that nation's long and rich history into the production and the cinematic approach. "Given that my personal story is so much more interesting than that of China, I can't wait to see how they illustrate my life." Just as the Beijing Opening Ceremonies far surpassed any in recent memory, Brian promised that any Zhang/Zhang production associated with his "brand" would be "bigger and better than anything Beijing could even imagine." Due in large part to the secrecy of Brian's plans, no specific details about the celebration have been released although experts are speculating that there will be cake and possibly gifts. Brian did not comment on details, but only offered this tantalizing tidbit: "You thought they had fireworks for the Opening Ceremonies? You thought eight gazillion glow-in-the-dark drummers doing tai chi in perfect synchronization was awe-inspiring? Bah, you ain't seen nothing yet. You've seen what they can do with three or so billion people... just wait until they get the full force of Brian behind them. " Um. Wow. The well-known political analyst, Ludacris, has written a song indicating his support for Barack Obama. Oh goodie! I was on pins and needles wondering who Luda would thrown his considerable political clout behind. A sample lyric from "Politics: Obama is Here: Paint the White House black and I'm sure that's got 'em terrified McCain don't belong in any chair unless he's paralyzed Still another: Said I handled his biz and I'm one of his favorite rappers Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president Hillary hated on you, so that ***** is irrelevant And here's the video: Um. Wow. This makes Kanye West's post-Katrina analysis seem like a doctoral thesis defense. Obama has of course denounced the rapper's sentiment that one of our greatest heroes should be paralyzed (but you can't argue with the logic that Ludacris should be VP). A spokesman said "As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism, and degrading images that he doesn't want his daughters exposed to. Of course, that doesn't mean Obama isn't a fan of funky beats. In a recent issue of Rolling Stone, Obama praised Ludacris as a man of "great talents" and a "great businessman." Now, if only Bruce Willis would start rapping, then we could decide the fate of our nation with a rap battle instead of an election. What's the Definition of Irony?Wednesday, August 6, 2008 From London's The Independent, Aug. 6, 2008 Because everyone knows he's the expert on monogamy... Bill Clinton made a plea yesterday for a new emphasis on monogamy as a key element in the battle against AIDS. The former U.S. president, not noted for his ability to keep his own marriage vows, said it was very important to change people's attitudes to sex. In an interview with the BBC, recorded in Africa, Clinton told his interviewer that increasing support for monogamy was not just a problem for the continent worst hit by AIDS, but for the world. "To pretend we can ever get hold of this without dealing with that -- the idea of unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners -- I think would be naive." Experts believe that although there is no evidence that Africans have more sex, the nature of their sexual relationships may help to explain the high rate of AIDS on the continent. Research suggests there is a higher frequency of overlapping sexual partnerships, creating sexual networks that, from an epidemiological point of view, are more efficient at spreading infection. Serial monogamy and sporadic one-off sexual encounters, as practised in the West, are less effective at spreading infection. Clinton said the main challenge to fighting AIDS in Africa was improving health services. He said the foundation he established to promote better treatment for HIV and AIDS was focusing on cost-effective ways to improve national health systems. "You can get the universal treatment -- the money's there now, if we spend it most effectively. But we don't have the health-care systems to reach out to people, get them tested and diagnosed in a timely fashion, get them on treatment and do the regular followups." Let Them Eat Cake!Monday, August 4, 2008 Last year, to celebrate my sister's homecoming from eight weeks in Africa, I arranged to surprise her in the airport in Washington, D.C. just after she went through customs. How was I going to top that this summer? By watching too much Food Network, that's how. Weeks before Kelly's return I joked to my mom that I was going to go all Ace of Cakes and bake a Welcome Home Cake. She thought I was kidding right up until the moment I started assembling the ingredients for fondant the night before Kelly's arrival. The cake itself was two layers of chocolate cake cut into the profile of Oklahoma, iced (more or less), covered in homemade green fondant, then topped with "Welcome Home!" and four elephants (to represent our family and Malawi). Sure, it's not Duff quality, but it's pretty good for my first effort! Kelly was definitely surprised, and I was more than a little bit proud of myself. The cake was also quite yummy. State Fair, here I come! More cakes pix here!
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