Brian On _______

Pretty awesome.

What does Barack Obama's teleprompter think about the pressing issues of the day? I'm glad you asked, because now he's blogging.

By A. Pawlowski

And why not?

When some of the funniest, most dramatic, romantic and poignant words are spoken on the big screen, it's no wonder they stick with us long after the movie is finished.

It also turns out that using movie quotes in everyday conversation is akin to telling a joke and a way to form solidarity with others, according to a researcher who has actually studied why we like to cite films in social situations.

Gee willikers, really?

"People are doing it to feel good about themselves, to make others laugh, to make themselves laugh," said Richard Harris, a psychology professor at Kansas State University.

Slow down, Professor Turbo, I'm not following you. So when I say, "I caught you this delicious bass," I'm... trying to make someone... laugh? What if I really caught them a delicious bass? What then, Dr. Genius?

Harris decided to ask hundreds of young adults about their film-quoting habits after he and his graduate students realized it was a common behavior that no one had looked at closely before.

Does it really take a team of graduate students to tackle this question? People like to appropriate some of the good will that peers might have with the film in question, and show off their pop culture prowess. Next you'll be telling my we need to study why English lit majors like to quote Shakespeare. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing the practice. I, myself, like to fish that pond often.

He found that all of the participants in his study had used movie quotes in conversation at one point or another. They overwhelmingly cited comedies, followed distantly by dramas and action adventure flicks.

As for horror films, musicals and children's movies, "fuh-get about it." They were hardly ever cited, Harris said.

Don't cite musical or children's movies? Last night alone I referenced "The Little Mermaid" at least two dozen times: "It's a dinglehopper!"

When asked about their emotions while quoting films, most people reported feeling happy, the study found.

If it made them feel sad/confused/depressed/angry/remorseful/fearful/exasperated do you think they'd do it? Side note: check out this fascinating (no, seriously) Wikipedia entry for "emotions."

For those who can't get enough of movie quotes, there are countless lists and trivia dedicated to them online. Depending on your budget and taste, you can buy T-shirts, mugs, games and posters featuring your favorites. Web sites like MovieQuotes.com allow users to submit film lines to a growing quote bank and take quizzes.

Some movies, like "The Godfather," "Casablanca" and "Gone With the Wind," seem infinitely quotable.

It's called "classic." Next you'll be telling me the Bible seems "infinitely quotable."

Others can produce a single unforgettable line that will define that film forever: "You can't handle the truth" from "A Few Good Men" and "I see dead people" from "The Sixth Sense."

I've always thought "You can't handle the truth!" to be overrated. The actual most quotable line from that movie is by Cmd. Gibbs: "Captain West, this is Lt. Commander Galloway. Jo, you know Mike Lawrence."

A number of Hollywood masterpieces can infuse a single word with meaning: Think "plastics" from "The Graduate" and "Rosebud" from "Citizen Kane."

"Citizen Kane" = GREAT movie. Despite my love of Simon and Garfunkel, I'm not a huge fan of "The Graduate."

Movie quotes can even be used to teach lessons in the unlikeliest places. A blog on JavaWorld.com recently took lines from movies such as "Jaws," "Jerry Maguire" and "The Princess Bride" and applied them to software development, of all things.

"My precious," the words uttered by Gollum in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, for example, can teach programmers a valuable lesson, the blog said.

"In software development, it is good to take ownership of things," JavaWorld's blogger Dustin Marx wrote in explaining the quote's significance. "However, we can take it too far to where we refuse to admit anything is wrong with what we've done or insist ours is the only way to go."

Seriously? We're going here?

Like a food connoisseur pairing wines with meals, one man's fascination with memorable film lines led him to self-publish a book that advises readers which quotes would be perfect to use in which situations.

Jim Silverstein, author of "Movie Quotes to Get You Through Life," called the 14-year project a labor of love that grew out of his fondness for bantering in movie quotes with friends in college.

Silverstein -- a self-described "computer guy" who lives in suburban Chicago, Illinois -- began compiling his book in the early 1990s, watching hundreds of films and gathering more than 2,000 quotes in the process. The constant search for good lines made it hard for Silverstein to relax while watching films at home and annoyed his wife because he would frequently pause the movies to write down the lines, he said.

OK, this part is actually kind of cool.

Silverstein, 39, categorized the quotes under topic headings such as compliments, excuses and marriage. Readers looking for zingers have an especially big selection of movie lines to choose from; the insults category has nine subgroups, including appearance, intelligence and sex.

Journalistic aside - I've always been puzzled that journalists a whole like to stick people's ages in stories. Everybody does it. NYT, AP, everybody. It's not like it's relevant to the story. To me, you mights as well say, "Silverstein, a white, Jewish man of 39 who prefers swiss cheese to American or cheddar, categorized..." (Mr. Silverstein, I apologize if I offended you by assuming you're Jewish. Zay moykhl!)

Everyone loves movies, so citing them is a way to break the ice, Silverstein explained.

"I think it's a matter of lightening up conversation, maybe finding a better way to say it than you would have said yourself," Silverstein said.

"It's meant to help you be clever. ... Sometimes, when you don't know what to say, why not say what James Caan said? Why not pull out a Marlon Brando: 'Make me an offer I can't refuse'? Everybody understands."

Ahh... the trusty standby, "WWJD?" (What Would James (Caan) Do?)

Silverstein's own favorite quotes include lines from movies such as "Roxanne" and "Spinal Tap." But with some of his friends looking for work in a tough economy, he has become fond of citing a line from "Raising Arizona" to cheer them up: "You're young, and you've got your health; what [would] you want with a job?"

What? Not a single reference to Monty Python ("...then thou shalt count to three; no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four, shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.)? Have they never met a male college student? Also, my dad LOVES "Raising Arizona." I can take it or leave it. What is Nic Cage's appeal?

What has two thumbs and rode a Zamboni last night?

This guy [points thumbs at himself]. Needless to say, it was - in the words of Barney Stinson - legend- wait for it... I hope you're not lactose intolerant... -dary!

Notice how fleet-footed and nimble I am as I successfully jump astride the powerful and efficient Model 445, much as the noble cheetah that pounces on the cuddly baby gazelle. I'm also proud to report that I did NOT faceplant during the dismount.

His name is Al (?) The Hockey Puck and he almost gave me a black eye and a bloody lip last night at the game. And no, I'm not just saying that because he's black. Sorry. That was offensive.

Seriously, how jealous does this make you? Stupid lucky Finns.